my diamond

It's all a little too much, ya know? As an epiphany should be I guess... I would first like to briefly say that I misunderstood what an epiphany "should" be with what it "can" be. I wanted to believe that an epiphany always had to include some notion of divinity, but I now realize-as has been pointed out specifically in class and again in "without a care" Nick's blog-that an epiphany really is a moment of a paradox, and later (hopefully) clarity and maybe even change.

After reading "The Dead" I can only hope that I can use the right words to point towards my moment of reflective clarity. The moment when Gabriel refuses to go back to west Ireland is the exact time that I felt a change in his character. He had an unknown bitterness to a place that he really had no perceived reason to dread. But, as you find out in the end his wife's first true love lived there. Now, I may sound a little crazy, but when something brings about an unusual response from someone close to you only a naive fool would fail to recognize the change. Gabriel's adamant refusal to visit the place was a "real" emotion even though he didn't know why, but he must have known something more when his wife wished to visit the hometown so eagerly. Her response to his rough refusal should have been clue enough. From that point on, the story mainly revolved around music, and as such, I think the music is my diamond of an "Oh" that contributes to the "Ah".

There are many moments when Gabriel takes notice to the music that fills the atmosphere of the dance hall and refreshment room. However, the most obvious instance of importance is the pride he felt when he saw how his wife reacted to the old Irish song, "The Lass of Augrhim". (Here is a link to listen to this beautiful song originally by Frank Patterson, and here is sung by Susan McKeown http://www.last.fm/music/Susan+McKeown/_/The+Lass+of+Aughrim) His pride and desire smashed together and became almost violent. Just as his emotions should be (confused that is) when going through an unexplainably intense experience, and it only gets more intense from then on. An abundant amount of emotions flood through his and our bodies and minds at this moment of the story, and that my friends is how you know when an epiphany is truly at work. His previously inexplicable desires, and later on shamefulness are at odds after the difficult history, and come together to provide an awareness. And at last there is a kind of clarity at the end with the sound of the snow falling through the universe over the living and the dead, who both share the same sound at that very instance; a music if you will, that exists for shades and life alike.